The Trichotomy of Control

We must recognize that everything we encounter in life can be categorized into three broad groups:

1. Things we have control of
2. Things we have no control over
3. Things we have little to minimal control over

Understanding Control

• No Control: There are many aspects of life that we cannot control. For example, we can’t control the weather. Understanding this helps us realize that expending effort on such uncontrollable factors is futile and draining.
• Limited Control: Some things fall in a grey area where we have minimal influence. Recognizing this helps us allocate our energy more efficiently.
• Full Control: This category includes our personal goals, choices, values, and character. Focusing on these areas is beneficial because they are within our control and can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Focus on the Circle of Control

Focusing on things within our control (the “circle of control”) is key. These are areas where our efforts can make a real difference. By doing so, we can avoid the frustration and helplessness that come from trying to control the uncontrollable.

Personalizing Goals

Personalizing our goals is important as it gives us a clear vision and helps maintain tranquility. By defining and internalizing our objectives, we can focus on the process rather than the outcome. This approach helps manage our expectations and emotions, reducing anger and disappointment.

Internalizing Objectives

• Process Over Outcome: By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, we perform better and reduce feelings of failure if we don’t achieve our goals.
• Stoic Philosophy: Draw on Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes maintaining inner calm by recognizing what is and isn’t within our control.

Handling Disappointment and Restlessness

• Acceptance of Failure: Failure and disappointment are part of life. By recognizing our insatiable nature, we can better appreciate our achievements.
• Detachment from Outcome: To maintain peace of mind, we should detach from the constant pursuit of goals and focus on the process.

Summary

The key takeaway is to focus on what we can control and let go of what we can’t. This approach, rooted in Stoic philosophy, helps maintain inner calm, reduces frustration, and leads to a more fulfilling life. By internalizing our objectives and focusing on the process, we can achieve better performance and greater tranquility.