You know the old saying, “Children should be seen and not heard?” If ever there was a time to discredit that saying, it is when you’re in the midst of succession planning.

We’ve all had that feeling when you sense that your input is not as legitimate as other’s in the room. It can be incredibly intimidating for heirs when there are multiple generations at the table. It’s critical that you foster an environment with your heirs where that feeling isn’t allowed to take hold, and where their input is just as valued as others in the room.

It can be a serious problem if people feel like they “aren’t being heard.” How can you create a succession strategy if people aren’t communicating? If there isn’t powerful communication then it may be difficult to know what matters to your heirs, and what makes them tick. You may not know what tools or resources they might need, and it could be incredibly difficult to get a grasp on the pressures they feel. And the reverse is equally true. These are all things you want your heirs to understand and know about you, as well.

The most compelling tools of succession planning are powerful questions combined with powerful listening. Powerful listening doesn’t mean just sitting quietly and “listening” so that you can then jump in with a response. Powerful listening is about trying to hear more than the words—it’s about trying to hear where those words are coming from. What are the motivations behind those words? Ask open-ended questions, and wait for a response—and then listen.

It’s also important to keep in mind that sometimes too much respect can really impede communication. If 1^st generation wealth holders are held in reverence by the 3^rdgeneration, then that 3^rd generation may not communicate openly. We understand that it can be difficult for the 3^rd generation’s views to be taken as seriously as the 1^stgeneration’s. After all, the 1^st generation has had far more experience. But keep in mind that one day it will be the 3^rd generation making all the decisions, so it’s critical that they feel like they are “being heard” in order for the succession plan to work smoothly.